We have been told since we were young teenagers (sometimes earlier), that it is so simple and easy to conceive a child and all measures of contraception should be taken to avoid it until desired.
Not only is it not true, it sets us up to believe that once we make the conscious decision to try to conceive, it'll happen in the first month.
Sure that happens for some, but definitely not most.
I thought I would share some ways to navigate your bleed as she comes and goes with each month of trying to conceive, however long that is for you.
Begin by sitting with and acknowledging what you may be feeling or thinking if your bleed has arrived, signaling you have not conceived. Trying to move too quickly past these feelings or thoughts only creates more stagnation and tension within your body for the next month of trying to conceive.
Be tender with yourself
We are taught that pregnancy happens quickly and without thought. When we have taken time to prepare for pregnancy, and both partners are equally invested and desiring a pregnancy, then we do not conceive, it can be a rollercoaster to navigate. Feeling things such as frustration, sadness, anger, confusion, and uncertainty may arise and it is completely fair for it to do so. Take a deep breath, commit the day to taking care of yourself, and be incredibly tender with yourself. Do need only tasks and pick your battles.
Find ways and rituals to appreciate your fertility
Creating rituals around your moon time allows you to take the time to appreciate all that it signifies; your fertility, your life-giving abilities, your cyclical nature, your womanhood, and your feminine essence. Spending time honouring your fertile signs (blood, cramps, required rest, warmth, heightened senses), also allows you to connect deeper with it – a gateway into connecting with your spirit baby. Some ideas: creating a fertility altar, giving back your blood to the earth (using reusable pads and period underwear), movement specific to your moon time (slow yin yoga), creating a moon meal that you love to celebrate your fertility (something delicious and decadent), yoni steam or receive a womb massage (when bleeding has lightened).
Connect in with your spirit baby
Acknowledge and honour that your baby chooses their timing purposefully. You may not see it now, a gift of hindsight, but it’ll all make perfect sense one day. Trusting in your baby to choose their conception date, practicing patience and reverence for their journey. The soul that chooses you to be their mother/father does so for a reason and will create the perfect journey for you to continue growing into the parent they need for this lifetime. Take the opportunity to connect in deeper with your spirit baby and your own intuition. Ask questions, be patient for answers, and be grateful for this extra time to get in better alignment to receive this soul. Some ideas: a space on the fertility altar to write notes to the spirit baby, create a conception journal to journal notes, jot down information, messages or insights, meditations and visualizations, blessings to your future child, be in nature.
Tip: Read Spirit Babies by Walter Mackichen
Be with women
The best medicine for women is to be with other women who honour and respect their life experiences and journey. Something that has been removed from the modern culture is the understanding of the need women and men have to be in circle, in space, in groups with like-minded individuals of the same sex. We are all busting our butts off day in day out to pay bills, feed ourselves, move higher up the career ladder, or support our family, we often bypass our very innate needs and desires. Contact a close friend, organize a catch-up, walk, have coffee, and braid each other's hair. Do something that will nourish you. Connect with someone who has been there and can understand what kinds of feelings and thoughts you may have.
& be with your partner
Depending on your relationship dynamic, one partner is often responsible of the carrying, growing, and birthing of the child. This partner can also often feel the brunt of the burden of conception, can feel the missed timing heavier and experience the urge for conception deeper. If this is you, I encourage you to communicate with your partner/future co-parent about what you're feeling and thinking. They will never know otherwise. This is a great time to practice effective communication in the realm of parenthood, as it'll be a required skill later down the track.
Time in nature
Whether it be a slow walk, a picnic, sitting at the beach, or cold swims first thing in the morning, reconnecting with the fertility of the earth and all the incredible natural environments at our doorstep can facilitate a more easeful bleed when TTC (being mindful to stay warm as much as possible on day 1 and 2 of your bleed). Standing on the earth, immersing ourselves in bodies of water, or consciously connecting with the natural elements recalibrates our nervous system and the high exposure we have to radiation and technology. This only aids in a wholesome and intentional journey to conception.
With a special interest in conscious preconception, conception, and natural fertility, I support women and their partners on their journey to conception, through birth and into their postpartum. Contact me via email or on my social media platforms below if you'd like to connect. Thanks for reading!
Email: hello@caraburns.com.au
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